“Sometimes we need to let go of what is not working and reach for what we want.”

Keryl’s life changed when she discovered that her now ex-husband was having an affair. She had been a loyal and good wife. She realized that sometimes you are forced into a change that you would not otherwise have had the courage to go through on your own. Apart from feeling angry, bitter, and sorry for herself she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted.

“People who stay in their pain want to hurt others, which only prolongs the journey.”

The first few months were really emotional for Keryl as she was consumed by hurtful thoughts. Soon she realized she needed to start choosing her thoughts. Keryl refused to stay angry. She made a truce with her soon to be ex-husband not to fight anymore. Keryl also decided to make peace with the other person in the affair. She was determined to handle herself gracefully, which helped a lot on her journey towards a speedy recovery. Keryl believed, “People that stay in their pain want to hurt others, which only prolongs the journey. If and when you are wronged it’s not up to you to hurt that person back.” She has never enjoyed causing stress or pain to another person.

Keryl is now happily married and has even written and published a book. She has chosen to change the way she thinks and what she allows herself to focus on. Previously her sole existence and purpose were to care for her husband and make him happy. While speaking with a counselor during her divorce proceedings, Keryl did not know the answer when asked what she wanted to do. The counselor advised her to consider it was now time to do what made her happy. Her problem was figuring out what that was.

After finally deciding to start dating again, Keryl recalls watching a movie at a gentlemen’s house over a glass of wine. When she motioned to pour herself another drink, he said that he would do that for her. This was a pivotal point for her. It made her realize that she mattered and just how important it was to matter.

“We each must decide how we get to the other side.”

Keryl said, “I don’t think anyone will get through life without something difficult or some type of trouble. It is inevitable in life. We each must decide how we get to the other side. It is a golden opportunity when we get to the other side to do something beautiful with it”.

“It is human nature to resist change and to cling to what is familiar.”

When it comes to change Keryl says, “Yes, it is human nature to resist change and to cling to what is familiar. It takes courage, and it is uncomfortable but necessary sometimes. Sometimes we need to let go what is not working and reach for what we want.”

Keryl P. was interviewed for the ASPECTS OF CHANGE book and consented to share her experience. Many things have changed since the interview.